


There's More to Life

by TimmyJaybird



Series: Wish I Had An Angel [16]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Agender Character, Asexual Spectrum Character, Future Fic, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, attempted sexual situations, background JayDick, memories of sexual trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:34:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7051729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/pseuds/TimmyJaybird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years have only proven to Vanni that Damian and Colin are something <i>special</i>.  But he's begun to wonder if maybe there are words he can put to what they all are- and if there's room, in a dynamic that already works so well between Colin and Damian, for him. If he can have a role in a future he's realizing he very badly wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's More to Life

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally two separate fics, and wasn't actually going to appear until after another at least one, before the time jump. But... I've decided it's just time to close up this series, and since I had this all mostly written, I've finally come back to finishing it up.
> 
> I'm not ruling out coming back one day- and I'm always happy to discuss the series and Vanni on my tumblr, and maybe write a couple ficlets! But I figure I should give it some sort of closure versus just dropping off.

The gentle buzzing on the nightstand woke him, pulled Vanni from the edge of sleep he had  _ just _ fallen over, he swore. He grunted, reaching for his phone and pulling it to him, unlocking it in the dark and  _ wincing _ at the bright light.

 

A familiar name, flashing with a call coming in. He squinted, to make sure he was actually  _ reading _ this right, before he swiped his thumb along the little green  _ dot _ and held the phone up. “Hello?” His voice came out a hoarse squeak, already rioting from disuse due to  _ sleep _ .

 

“Come unlock your roof.”

 

Vanni rolled onto his back, yawned. “Damian, what  _ time _ is it?”

 

“Late. Going to let me freeze up here or what?” Vanni huffed, before he pushed himself up. His hair flopped into his face, over his shoulders, and he ignored it as he climbed out of bed, walking half blind through his room, eyes half open and wanting to close completely. He was  _ exhausted _ , he’d stayed up way  _ later _ than he meant, and figured he’d already be paying for it in the morning if one of his dads decided he couldn’t sleep half the day away.

 

He paused at door to Dick and Jason’s small armory, entering the security code. It unlocked and he pushed it open, stepping in and pausing at the awkward, tight stairs that led up to the roof. He didn’t have to climb them to unlock the door thankfully, and stood at the base punching in the code. A moment later and the lock  _ clicked _ , and the door was opening, Damian quick to slip in and shut it behind him. He shook his head, reaching his gloves hands up and brushing the snow from it.

 

“Snowing?” Vanni asked, letting his hand holding his phone fall. Damian stared at him for a minute- and if he had a  _ smartass _ remark, he kept it to himself.

 

This time.

 

“Thank you,” he said, heading down the stairs. He paused at the base, looking down at the younger teen, before he reached out and brushed his hair back. Vanni flinched at the cold feeling of his gloves, pushing his hand off. But  _ smiling _ , even as he said,

 

“You’re freezing.”

 

“It’s freezing  _ outside _ ,” Damian said, giving a huff as Vanni turned, crossing the room. Damian followed him out, tugged the door shut and made sure it locked without being asked. Vanni lifted a finger to his lips, signaling for Damian to be quiet, as they walked to his room. Vanni pushed the door shut, paused a moment to simply  _ listen _ , before he turned, found Damian pulling his gloves off across the room. He dropped them on the chair to Vanni’s desk. “We wake anyone?”

 

Vanni shook his head, leaning against the door and inclining his head a little, studying Damian. His gloves were the only thing missing from his suit- he hadn’t even gotten his mask off yet-

 

And Vanni would be lying if he ever said he didn’t  _ like _ Damian in his suit. Not that he ever bothered with that lie.

 

“-tt- You’re staring  _ clone _ .” It came out shockingly endearing, and Vanni flashed a smile, tossing his phone onto his bed as he crossed his room, grabbing Damian by a handful of his cape and tugging him a step closer.

 

“Careful birdy,” he said with a wink, and Damian flashed a grin, hooked an arm around his waist and pulled him tight against his chest. He still stood taller than Vanni, by a solid number of inches, and Vanni tilted his head back slightly to look up at him, his other hand running along his utility belt. “Be nice or you get to sleep in the snow.”

 

“ _ You wouldn’t _ .” Vanni’s brows rose, a silent  _ try me _ \- and Damian knew better than to do that. Knew  _ way _ better. “Maybe you would,” he mused, leaning down, kissing the bridge of his nose. Vanni squeeze his eyes shut- shoved at Damian so he took a step back,  _ nearly threw him off balance _ , if Damian was honest. “Wha-”

 

“You’re  _ cold _ ,” he said, again, reaching up to rub his nose. Damian stared at him, before he reached up, tugged his mask off,  _ continued _ to stare with wide, unbelieving eyes.

 

“Really?  _ Really _ ?” Vanni smiled, flipped his damn hair in that  _ way _ that Damian knew Colin dubbed  _ diva _ , before he turned, heading back to his bed. He grabbed his phone, plugging it back in and settling it on his nightstand, before crawling back in, moving from the center towards one side. Damian only shook his head, working his cape off and folding it, before reaching for his utility belt.

 

Vanni sat back into his pillows, folding his arms and resting them on his knees, before leaning into them, watching. There was  _ always _ something fascinating about watching someone remove the pieces of their suit, like layers of skin that all unlocked at specifics junctures. Like taking off pieces of you that you didn’t need, for a time. And rebuilding yourself, later on.

 

The fact that it was Damian? That was an added bonus.

 

“Anyone know you’re here?” Vanni asked, stifling a yawn as he pressed his mouth against his arm. Damian shook his head. It wasn’t the first time he’d randomly shown up in Blüdhaven after patrol, in their time together. Far from it, honestly. He used to do it even on school nights- there’d be a rather  _ disgruntled _ Bruce call in the morning, asking Dick or Jason if they could kindly drive his son back to Gotham-

 

And then Vanni wouldn’t see him for a week.

 

He decided, as Damian tossed his tunic onto the chair and bent over to unlace his boots- that some things never changed. Not that he wanted this to change. It was nice, thinking Damian would make the trip on whim at any point- even nicer to know he’d have someone snuggling  _ back _ , in the morning.

 

“Are you going to stare all night?” Damian asked, as he straightened up, toeing off one of his boots. Vanni giggled- sleepy and raspy, and watched the way Damian’s breath rushed out at it. He wasn’t  _ unaware _ of what he could do to Damian. Colin, too.

 

Just wasn’t exactly sure where he stood with that knowledge, other than a few teasing remarks or glances- and a  _ lot _ of lost breath from one of their mouths on his. Kissing, now  _ that _ was something he knew where he stood on.

 

  
“Maybe,” he offered, as Damian pulled his other boot off. Damian turned to face him, arching a brow as he hooked one thumb in his leggings, pulling down slightly. Vanni tried to hold his stare, before Damian winked and Vanni choked on a laugh, grabbing one of his pillows and hurling it across the room at him. Damian caught it against his chest as Vanni said, “hurry up and get over here,” before he flopped down, onto his own pillow.

 

By now, years of  _ experience _ , of watching the world and learning, understanding, had taught him all about  _ flirtation _ . And if anything, had turned it into one big game he played. One that usually ended with him laughing because sometimes, it was hard to take Damian- or Colin- that seriously.

 

He heard the rustle of Damian’s clothing, and then his footsteps, crossing the room. The blanket was tugged back, the pillow dropped onto the bed- and then Damian’s sigh, before he grabbed the stuffed animals taking up his space and dropped them on the floor.

 

Vanni glared at him, and Damian stared back. “What? Really? Rather cuddle them, or me?” Vanni rolled his eyes, before lifting one hand and motioning Damian over. The older teen crawled onto the bed, flopping down and pulling the blanket back up over them. He was still shifting, when Vanni rolled onto his side, slid in closer until Damian was draping an arm over him, their legs tangling together- Damian’s, all bare, scarred skin, and Vanni’s overly soft pajama pants.

 

“Was it a rough night?” Vanni asked, and Damian shook his head- finally let himself yawn. He wasn’t radiating his usual heat, and it made Vanni wonder just how  _ cold _ it was outside.

 

He knew Jason had gone out, that night. Dick was sleeping in their room- but he didn’t think Jason was back yet. Hadn’t seen his gear in the armory. He hoped he was alright.

 

“You’re still cold,” he offered, rubbing his hand along Damian’s back. Damian hummed, let his eyes fall shut, and Vanni tilted his head up, kissed his jaw very gently. He felt Damian’s hand tighten in his tshirt, and smiled, nuzzling into his neck, kissing his pulse. “Next time, pick a warmer night.”

 

Damian snorted, holding Vanni tighter. “Hard when I miss you,” he mumbled- and in the dark security of Vanni’s room, it was alright to admit that. When it was just the two of them.

 

It was okay to be vulnerable.

 

*

 

The knock on his door was the next thing Vanni heard. He grumbled, nestling closer to the comforting heat around him, sighing, as his door clicked open a sliver.

 

“Little wing, tell me I can come in and I don’t have a whole lot of naked bat in this room.”

 

Vanni’s eyes snapped open and he pushed himself up, away from Damian’s chest and looked towards his door, as it finished opening and Jason stuck his head in. He glanced at his son, then Damian’s still sleeping shape- and then back to Vanni. Vanni only offered a sheepish smile and shrugged a shoulder.

 

Jason sighed, rolling his eyes, before he jerked his head, signaling for Vanni to come out. Vanni shoved the blanket aside, managing to untangle from Damian without waking him up, and climbed off the bed. He padded across the room, rubbing one of his eyes as he pulled the door open more, stepping into the hallway and shutting it, Jason already heading away, towards the kitchen. Vanni followed, smelled the strong- and very deceiving- scent of coffee already.

 

“Where’s dad?” Vanni asked, looking around the kitchen, as Jason headed right for the coffee and grabbed a mug.

 

“Sleeping still,” he said, pouring into it and heading for the fridge. Vanni shook his head- couldn’t exactly be shocked that  _ Jason _ had been the one out all night, and yet Dick was still in bed. He really wasn’t a morning person.

 

“Did you sleep at all?” Vanni asked, hopping up onto the table and sitting on it, legs swinging. Jason had long since stopped bothering to remind him they had  _ chairs _ .

 

“A little.” He closed the fridge with his hip, left the creamer on the table, and moved for the sugar. “Would’ve more if Bruce hadn’t woken me up to inform me a  _ certain _ Robin didn’t fly home last night.” Vanni cringed, as Jason stirred his coffee. “Would it kill Damian to shoot B a text? That’s  _ all _ . Just something instead of disappearing.”

 

Vanni shrugged a shoulder, signed out as Jason looked up,  _ you know he’s always like this _ . Which was true, and it was typically just  _ assumed _ if Damian couldn’t be found in the morning, he had shown up in Blüdhaven, or was crashing with Colin.

 

_ I know _ , from Jason, before he sipped at his coffee. “Have him text his dad when he wakes up, okay?”

 

Vanni nodded. “Mad?” he asked, and Jason only shook his head, reaching out and tussling Vanni’s wild hair.

 

“Nah, you know better than that. Damian’s always welcome.” Jason leaned in, kissed Vanni’s temple. “Now, I’m going to see if I can rise Dick from the dead, or if we should start planning his funeral.”

 

“And resurrection,” Vanni chimed in, before Jason could add to the  _ joke _ . He grinned.

 

“That’s my kid. Always a step ahead of me.” Jason gave him a wink, before he left the kitchen, sipping at his coffee as he did so. Vanni glanced over his shoulder, watched him go- before he hopped off the table. He moved towards the cupboards, stood on his toes to open them and pull a mug from one of the higher shelves. He grabbed the coffee pot and filled it, before setting it back in place and taking the mug of black coffee with him, as he headed back for his room.

 

Inside, and Damian was still curled up on his side, sleeping. He’d turned his face up, pressed it into Vanni’s pillow- lifted one of his arms to clutch at it. Vanni smiled over that, walked around the bed and set his coffee down, next to his phone. He reached down, got Damian by his shoulder and gave him a gentle shove. Damian mumbled, rolling onto his back, but refusing to open his eyes. With a huff Vanni climbed up onto the bed, settling down on his waist and folding his arms.

 

“You’re not fooling me.” Damian cracked an eye open, looking up at him.

 

“You sure?” A nod. “ _ Positive _ .”

 

_ Idiot _ , Vanni signed, before he pointed towards his nightstand. Damian glanced over, as Vanni folded his arms- not making a move to get off of Damian. He was still  _ warm  _ and even with the blanket between them, Vanni could feel it. Such a difference to when Damian had first come in, hours before.

 

Such a difference that he was comfortable straddling him, without even  _ thinking _ of what it once as like, to bare his weight down onto someone, to squeeze his thighs tight against them to  _ pin _ them. Now it was as if Damian was just a breathing  _ pillow _ . Those old memories were faded now, there in the recesses of his mind, yes- but replaced with so many better things.

 

Vanni had worked hard, over the years, to  _ replace _ everything he had known, to learn that the world could be so  _ good _ .

 

Damian pushed himself up- one arm going out to circle Vanni’s waist and keep him from falling backwards, as the other reached over for the mug. Vanni leaned back, let Damian support him with his arm- knew it wasn’t  _ hard _ for him. Vanni wasn’t large, and he rather  _ liked _ that while Damian wasn’t the bulk Bruce was, he was enough to hold onto him easily-

 

It left his belly tight, his pulse fluttering like scared butterflies. Left his cheeks always wanting to tinge.

 

Damian took a sip from the mug, his eyes closing, lips curling into a smile. “You are a godsend,” he said, taking another sip, and this time- Vanni did let himself blush. “Thank you.” He nodded, even though Damian couldn’t see- averted his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, still acutely aware of Damian’s arm, locked around him.

 

Damian set the mug aside, cracking his eyes back up. Vanni knew the moment he did, felt that jade boring into him like gorgeous fire- held down a shiver. Colin had told him, what felt like so long ago, that Damian was like fire. He burned and engulfed and yet you couldn’t look  _ away _ , were too awestruck to ever dream of such a thing.

 

He wasn’t sure anything Colin had ever said had ever been as true as that statement.

 

He felt Damian’s other hand- warm from the mug- brushing up along his cheek, gently turning his head until Vanni could face him. His fingers curled into Vanni’s hair, and when he pulled him in, Vanni went all too easily. Damian’s mouth, when it found his, was hot as the pit of Vanni’s belly, moved slowly like his mind being dragged up from sleep. The arm around him tightened- the hand on his cheek sliding down, cupping the back of his neck and holding him closer.

 

He got his hands on Damian’s bare chest, pressed between their bodies, let them splay. Sometimes he wanted to shake, wanted to tremble and quake at the way Damian kissed him. Didn’t matter how many years were behind them- some days he felt like that nervous and  _ excited _ kid in the library of the manor, closing his eyes and counting and forgetting what numbers even were when Damian kissed him, over and over again.

 

Damian was the first to break it, to lean back just enough that his small, near-silent sigh was a puff of warm air against Vanni’s lips. He  _ did _ shiver, then, and somehow Damian found a way to press him even tighter to his chest. Vanni licked his lips, glanced up at Damian-

 

And oh, couldn’t  _ help _ himself. “You taste like coffee,” he teased, watched as Damian leaned his head back and  _ laughed _ . A real laugh. The kind Vanni didn’t see, around other people. This musical sort of sound that pulled from Damian around only two people-

 

Colin, and  _ him _ .

 

“And you kissed me anyway,” Damian mused. Was  _ all too aware _ of how much Vanni hated the blatant taste of coffee, especially how Damian drank it.  _ Black _ . “Aren’t I lucky.” Vanni felt Damian’s hand tighten, behind his neck, tugging him back in, and suddenly they were a breath apart again. “Think we can change how I taste?”

 

This time, Vanni kissed  _ him _ . Kissed him hard and in that way he had learned, over the years. With his head tipped and his mouth opening,  _ begging _ Damian to push into it, to push against the plush feel of his cheeks, map out his teeth. Learn every bit of him, like he had already done, so many times before.

 

Damian made a little sound, in the back of his throat, as Vanni pushed back against his tongue- and then suddenly Damian was dropping back, rolling them over- until he was laying on top of Vanni, his body a pleasant weight, as his mouth moved off of Vanni’s. Lips to his jaw first, and then down to his pulse, and Vanni got his hands on Damian’s bare back, pushed his fingertips into scars and clung onto him, letting out a shuddering breath.

 

A familiar heat was in his cheeks, in his belly, crackling along his spine. The kind that he had words for now, had an  _ understanding _ of, after all these years. The kind that had him clinging tighter, as Damian shifted- and the friction had Vanni pushing against those scars tighter.

 

“Alright?” Damian asked, breathing into his ear. Vanni swallowed thickly, nodded. Appreciated him asking- appreciated that Damian always asked. Always needed to know what he was feeling, if he was  _ comfortable _ .

 

Damian hummed, smiling before his mouth was back on Vanni’s neck. It was gentle now, and Vanni let his eyes fall shut, let himself relax as Damian kissed, to the collar of his tshirt- before he was back, at his lips, softer, slower now. Affectionate and full of a lot of things Vanni had felt for years now, growing slowly in his ribs.

 

He could get lost in this. He  _ did _ get lost in this. Got lost in all of Damian’s affection and everything he felt around him. Got lost in the way he looked at Vanni like he wanted to understand him, wanted to see inside his head-

 

_ And his heart _ .

 

“Damian,” he breathed, between kisses- and Damian smiled against him.

 

“Say my name again,” he whispered, and when Vanni was silent for a moment, added, “please, beloved.”

 

Vanni’s chest seized up then, his arms moving to lock around Damian’s neck, to hold tight as he kissed him. Each breath was his name, against his lips- before another kiss, another breath, and yet still the same name.

 

Over and over, until Vanni was dizzy, and Damian was nuzzling into his neck, breathing him in and smiling and keeping him so  _ securely _ boxed in, surrounded by warmth and that pulsing feeling in his fingers and toes that his blood was rushing too fast. Leaving him high.

 

When Damian rolled them back over, hoisted Vanni up and on top of him, he simply sprawled there, rested his head on his chest. As Damian tangled his fingers in Vanni’s long hair, toyed with it, he could hear the steady, soothing beat of his heart. He smiled, reached up with one hand, splayed it on his chest, and never wanted to move.

 

Except-

 

_ There was something missing _ . If he was never going to move again.

 

“Dad said to call Bruce,” Vanni said, as the second turned to silent, calm minutes. Damian lifted his head for a moment, before he dropped it back down. “He called already.”

 

“-tt- Of course father did.”

 

“You could  _ say something _ , for once.” It was chastising, but still light. Vanni was just glad Damian was there. The older teen sighed, and when he released his hair, Vanni rolled off of him. He laid on his belly where Damian’s body had been, soaked up the heat happily, as Damian crossed the room, digging his phone out from his utility belt. Vanni closed his eyes, heard Damian’s fingers tapping on the screen, before the phone was settled on his desk.

 

“A text will suffice,” Damian said, walking back. He leaned over Vanni, kissed the top of his head, and Vanni let his eyes fall shut, let himself relax.

 

*

 

“Are you two just going to melt into the couch all day?” Dick asked, as he folded his arms on the back of the couch, leaning over. Vanni didn’t lift his head, sitting upside down so his legs were hooked over the back, his head tilted so he could see the television. Damian was stretched out next to him, nestled into the opposite arm of the couch, flipping through something on his phone.

 

“It appears to be a blizzard outside, Grayson. What would you have us do?” Dick shrugged a shoulder, before Jason appeared, a small towel tossed over his shoulder.

 

“Coming or not,  _ wonder boy _ ?” he asked, heading for the door. Vanni pushed himself up, folding damn near in half to get a glimpse of Jason in his workout clothes, heading for the door.

 

Dick stared for a minute, and it was a look Vanni  _ knew _ . He flopped back down, waving his hand at his dads.

 

“If you guys need anything,” Dick said, “We’re uh… just going for a little workout.”

 

“Mhm,” Damian said, cocking a brow and lowering his phone to his lap. “We will not need anything. Don’t worry.” Dick winked at Damian, ruffling his hair, and Vanni reached up, rubbing his hands over his face as his dads made their way out. When the penthouse door shut, Damian started chuckling. “You alright over there?”

 

Vanni waved him off. He’d been around long enough to  _ recognize _ the looks Jason and Dick gave each other. Granted, it had taken a few  _ accidental walk-ins _ before he realized exactly what they meant- but it was a science, now. And the look he’d seen Jason give Dick meant he didn’t expect to see them for quite a while- and he  _ definitely _ had no intention of leaving the penthouse.

 

“Is there anything on TV?” he asked, trying to change the subject. Damian shrugged, looking back at his phone for a moment, before he tossed it onto the coffee table, next to the remote. Vanni followed the motion, before he reached out, stretching to reach it. His large sweater rode up, towards the hem of his leggings- and he knew Damian was watching.

 

For a moment, he thought back to the night before, to Damian stripping out of his Robin suit- and felt a spark of heat, at the base of his spin, moving like static up along it. He swallowed, and then slowly rocked his hips up,  _ aiding _ in his stretch, even though it wasn’t entirely necessary.

 

He  _ heard _ Damian’s breath.

 

“You did that on purpose,” he said, as Vanni snagged the remote and clicked the television on. He glanced over, gave Damian a little playful smile.

 

“Did what?” Damian continued to stare, before he folded his arms, almost  _ pouting _ . It was endearing,  _ adorable _ even. Made Vanni want to laugh.

 

“You know.” Vanni attempted to shrug- a little hard in his position, as he dropped the remote on the couch.

 

“What’s so distracting?” He pushed his hips up slightly again, shifting and watching as Damian’s eyes moved to his legs, as his thigh muscles flexed to keep his legs upright and tossed over the back of the couch. Damian’s scowl fell away, and Vanni wanted to count this as a win in their little game, for himself. He knew Damian and Colin had a dear near  _ affliction _ for his legs.

 

It had taken a few years, but he rather believed them now, when they talked about them. He thought they were alright- compact lean muscle that gave him nice curves. He still dislikes the faint shadow of his dark veins that appeared on them, but he was getting used to them.

 

The couch cushions shifted, and suddenly Damian was moving. Pushing the remote away so it clattered to the floor and crawling over, so he could rest on his knees, next to Vanni. One of his hands came down, curled around as much of one thigh as he could, and Vanni felt his breath  _ choke _ . Damian leaned over him, and Vanni lifted his head- met him halfway in a clumsy kiss, as he reached up, curled an arm around his shoulder and clutched one, to help keep him held up.

 

The hand on his thigh tightened, Damian’s thumb rubbing little circles into him, and Vanni felt like he might burst from his skin. His belly clenched up tight, this mix of excitement-  _ arousal _ and nerves and so many little things.

 

He didn’t push Damian’s hand away.

 

He didn’t  _ want _ to.

 

Damian’s tongue pressed into his mouth, and Vanni dug his blunt nails in against his tshirt, whimpered around the muscle, and Damian’s hand slid a little higher, fingers pushing against his inner thigh. Through his black leggings, Vanni could feel their heat- and it was making him dizzy. The touches didn’t usually last this long. A moment, a lost breath, a desperate kiss- and that was  _ it _ .

 

They’d never been much more than that. Not with Damian, not with Colin-

 

Only with  _ himself _ .

 

Damian nipped at his lip, sucked on it gently, and Vanni lifted his hips, his body’s silent plea for  _ more _ . And he’d be lying, if he said he hadn’t thought about it. More and more, lately. Years had turned playful kisses into late night wonderings of  _ what if _ -

 

At first, the thoughts had made his stomach roll. Had brought up too many memories of things that weren’t  _ pleasure _ in any sort of way- not sex but  _ violence _ against him. At first, it had been hard to think of sex and separate it.

 

But, years later,  _ years of support _ , and the same fear didn’t creep into Vanni, at the thoughts. The past year had been a self exploration of private thoughts of the two friends-  _ more than friends _ , if he was honest, even if they hadn’t… hadn’t  _ labeled themselves _ as much of anything- who made him feel  _ inexplicable _ things. And the past few months, he’d looked at them and wondered-

 

_ What if they weren’t just thoughts? _

 

Damian moved off his mouth, and Vanni sucked in a breath. His neck hurt, craning it up to kiss him like this, but he was content to ignore it, as Damian looked at him with those pretty eyes. Pretty eyes he’d loved from day one, even when he’d tackled Damian to the floor of the Manor’s dining room.

 

Eyes he  _ trusted _ with his damn life.

 

“Sorry,” Damian whispered, his hand stilling on Vanni’s thigh. His other arm slipped under him, helped to support him, pull him up slightly to ease the strain on his neck. Vanni simply stared up at him, sucked on his own lip.

 

“Don’t be,” he finally whispered, spreading his thighs a little more. Damian’s eyes went a little wider. “Maybe…” he paused, took a breath, “Maybe we can try something…”

 

Damian blinked, stared-  _ blinked again _ , before he swallowed. “Vanni…” His name came out a slightly hoarse whisper, and Damian was pulling him up, taking his hand away and helping him to sit properly. Vanni missed that hand, the moment it was gone. “You don’t need to do that.”

 

“I know I don’t have to,” he said, and then, almost not trusting his voice, signed,  _ I want to _ .

 

Damian still didn’t move, still seemed  _ skeptical _ . “I know you do not…” he paused, inhaled slowly, “You don’t feel attraction the same way Colin and I do. You do not need to-”

 

“ _ I said I want to _ ,” Vanni said, louder now. And it was true, he hadn’t come across anyone else who had really  _ sparked _ any sort of sexual desire in him- only his crush on Roy, all those years back, had made him burn so hot he could barely contain himself. Everyone else, they didn’t  _ evoke _ anything-

 

But Damian and Colin? They  _ did _ , now. It had built slowly, but it was  _ there _ , in his gut, writhing up into his ribs. There because he trusted them, because he felt so much for them that he was still, at times, afraid to put into words-

 

Sometimes all he could do was sign to  _ himself _ , over and over again, about the things that boiled inside him.

 

“You are different,” Vanni said, and added with his hands,  _ I trust you. I care about you. _

 

He paused-

 

_ It makes me want you. _

 

Damian continued to watch him, and Vanni knew he was taking in the way he held himself, looking for  _ self doubt _ .

 

He might find a bundle of nerves, under his skin,  _ but doubt _ ? Vanni was beyond that. He knew, at least, that Colin and Damian-

 

They made him feel things, desires, no one else did.

 

And in that moment, he wanted to explore them.

 

Damian reached out, cupped Vanni’s cheeks in his hands and pulled him in, pecked his lips softly. “I need you to look at me,” Damian whispered, “and promise me something?” Vanni held his gaze, and Damian continued. “No matter what, you will tell me to stop if you are uncomfortable.”

 

Vanni felt his heart leap painfully. He nodded, felt a tremor threaten up in his bones.

 

“And I need to hear you tell me,” Damian added, “that you want me.” His thumbs stroked slowly over Vanni’s cheeks. “I need your consent. I need you to really,  _ really _ , want to do this.”

 

He swallowed, thickly, and slowly, Vanni nodded. His hands had a shake in them, and he knew if he signed, Damian wouldn’t see it. Too intent looking at his face, his eyes, his lips. “I want you,” he whispered- and it was loaded, filled with more meaning than just this,  _ but this could have to do _ . “I want to try.”

 

Damian nodded, leaned in and kissed him again. He eased Vanni back, until he was leaning against the arm of the couch, Damian between his legs. Damian’s hands slid down, over his neck- one to cup the back, the other rubbing down over the soft fabric of his sweater, until it could slid beneath it. Vanni swore he was melting beneath the fire of Damian’s palm- made a little sound when his hand skimmed up over his chest, pausing so his thumb could rub over one nipple. He shivered, tipped his head back and broke the kiss, and Damian leaned down, nuzzled his neck.

 

“Okay?” he asked, and Vanni nodded. Damian smiled, continued to tease it gently, as the flash hardened beneath his fingers. Vanni felt his breath coming faster, felt that rush of crackling desire between his legs, making him  _ hard _ and making him want to squirm.

 

Damian kissed his neck gently, his tongue tracing down towards the neckline of his sweater. Vanni shivered, rocked his hips up- and Damian’s hand beneath his sweater was moving, rubbed down along his ribs, his belly, pausing as his thumb rubbed against the waistband of his leggings-

 

And then, sliding up over the fabric and gently cupping him through it. Vanni gasped, hips pushing up in a sharp movement, and he felt Damian’s own breath catch as he squeezed gently.

 

“Still… okay?” he murmured, and Vanni nodded. Damian smiled, before he pressed his mouth harder to his neck, sucked on the skin as he let Vanni grind against his palm. Vanni whined, felt an ache in his skin, and then a sting, as Damian aimed to leave a bruise behind. He winced a little, but a part of him didn’t want Damian to stop.

 

His hand gripped tighter, traced the shape of Vanni’s shaft, and Vanni  _ moaned _ in a way he never had, around anyone else before. Only into his own pillows, into the spray of the shower- but it had Damian groaning, had him pressing up tight to him- and Vanni could feel the strain in Damian’s jeans, a hardness pressing tight to his ass, rocking gently-

 

And suddenly he felt his chest, beginning to grow tight. He squeezed his eyes shut, sought the calming comfort of the blackness behind his eyelids- but it never came. A flash of large hands,  _ holding him down _ , someone pressing to him where Damian was-

 

And that stomach rolling voice, calling him  _ ugly-pretty _ , over and over again.

 

Vanni’s breath caught, and suddenly he was shaking, suddenly his heart was hammering so hard it  _ hurt _ \- suddenly everything felt  _ wrong _ . He reached up, grasped at Damian’s shoulders, squeezed so tightly that Damian winced. “Vanni,” he whispered, but his voice floated in space, never seemed to get inside Vanni’s head.

 

He couldn’t  _ breathe _ , and even as Damian instantly pulled back, it didn’t matter- he was in the dark, he was  _ alone _ , he was hideous and he was being taken and  _ broken _ like a dog-

 

“Vanni!” Louder now, and Damian’s hands were on his biceps, steadying him. “ _ Look at me _ .” Vanni’s eyes flew open, and Damian took up his entire sight line. His breathing kept hiccuping in and out of him, and he was light headed already, swimming in his own skull. “You’re going to hyperventilate,” Damian warned, “I need you to take a deep breath.”

 

Vanni tried,  _ he really did _ \- but it hitched and hurt and he gulped down a mouthful of air and simply  _ choked _ . Damian leaned into him more, and it felt like he was pinned,  _ pinned and helpless and _ -

 

“ _ Giovanni _ !” Damian slid an arm beneath him, and suddenly they were falling back, Vanni sprawling on Damian’s chest. Vanni shuddered, felt Damian’s hand stroking his hair, one arm holding him tightly but not  _ pinning _ him. “You’re safe,” Damian whispered, as Vanni tried to breathe. “I have you.”

 

He took a deep breath, managed to hold it- and while it burn his lungs, it helped to clear his head. He exhaled, slowly, felt Damian rubbing his hand down along his back. Murmuring quietly down to him, and Vanni sought out the sound of Damian’s heart- latched onto it, within his chest, as he tried to steady his breathing.

 

He was home. He was  _ safe _ . He wasn’t back  _ there _ \- that demon, that ghost, it was gone. Exorcised with his own bloody hands years ago-

 

_ He couldn’t hurt Vanni again _ .

 

But somedays, it felt like the ghost could, over and over again.

 

He gave a quiet, broken sob, and Damian shifted, sitting up a little so he could kiss the top of his head. Vanni clung to him, nestled into his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, as Damian held onto him.

 

“Do not,” Damian whispered, his voice firm. “Do not apologize.” Vanni closed his eyes, said nothing as his head slowly began to clear. He focused on his breathing, trying to steady it, to slow each breath- and only when long minutes had passed, when he seemed to be breathing properly, did Damian whisper, “Are you with me?”

 

Vanni nodded, carefully sitting up, pulling away. He settled on his knees, sitting back against his ankles, reaching up to rake his hands through his free hair, getting it out of his face.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Damian asked. Vanni opened his mouth- then promptly shut it, knew the words weren’t coming.

 

_ I just… remembered other times _ .

 

Damian nodded, looking down. Like he had been afraid of this happening. And that made Vanni’s chest hurt.

 

“I’m sorry,” Damian said, “I… I should have known better. I shouldn’t have-”

 

Vanni held his hand up, silencing him.  _ Stop _ , he signed, finding and holding Damian’s stare.  _ I… I wanted to. You make me feel things… and I want to understand them _ .

 

Damian gave a subtle nod, before he reached out, stroked his fingers along one of Vanni’s cheeks. Vanni turned, nuzzled his palm- kissed the warm skin of his wrist. He reached up, covered Damian’s hand with his own, held it to his face to keep the contact.

 

“I… liked it,” Vanni managed, before he swallowed, licked his lips. “At first.” Damian nodded.

 

“Can you tell me what you didn’t like?”

 

Vanni sucked on his tongue for a moment, before he kissed the edge of Damian’s palm now- wanting to get lost in the comfort he found from just this little contact. Even if contact had been the thing to throw his entire mental equilibrium off. “When you… you pressed… up against me. It just… it wasn’t you, anymore.”

 

Damian nodded. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to…” he stopped, shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what I was or wasn’t going to do. I upset you. I am so sorry.”

 

“I know you didn’t mean it,” Vanni said, letting go of Damian’s hand. “I’m sorry. I… I thought I’d be okay. I really did want to…” he trailed off, felt heat rising up in his cheeks. “I still do…”

 

“Some other time,” Damian reasoned, leaning in, kissing the bridge of his nose. “Okay? Give it more thought. I am not going to disappear. And we will go slow. As slow as you want,  _ beloved _ .” Vanni shivered, wrapped his arms around Damian and pulled up close to him. Damian got his arms around him- and the terror was truly gone, replaced by that pleasant contentment that Vanni got in his belly, when Damian held him.

 

“I have given it thought,” Vanni whispered, “but… thank you. For understanding.” A kiss to his hair now, and Vanni added, “If you… if you need-”

 

“Do  _ not _ ,” Damian said, sternly again. “I am fine.”

 

“You were  _ excited _ too.”

 

“And it will go away,” Damian countered, as Vanni lifted his head. “Your comfort comes first. I am not an animal. I am not a slave to a blood rush between my legs.”

 

Vanni swallowed down a  _ laugh _ over that, and Damian cracked the sort of smile that was beautiful, lit his face up like the sun was beneath his skin, radiating out to the world. He offered another kiss to the tip of Vanni’s nose, which  _ did _ make him laugh, before Damian suddenly pulled back, climbed off the couch and grabbed his phone.

 

“What are you doing?” Vanni asked, as Damian shoved it into the pocket of his jeans.

 

“Just stay here.” Vanni watched him head back into the penthouse, and shifted, slumped back against the couch. He reached up, rubbed his hands over the face-

 

And silently he  _ cursed _ himself. Because he had wanted Damian to touch him, he’d wanted skin on skin, wanted the fire in Damian’s body- wanted to be engulfed in it,  _ consumed _ . He’d wanted that  _ connection _ .

 

He’d wanted to feel  _ good _ , and all he’d gotten was a goddamn  _ nightmare _ .

 

He let his hands fall to his lap, gritted his teeth. Was angry that what he wanted, a part of his mind seemed intent on denying him. But Damian was  _ beautiful _ , and he made Vanni feel like the center of the universe- and when he thought about him, when he was alone-

 

God he got so hard he  _ ached _ until he could find release. Ached and needed and wanted to plead into the silence of his room for Damian’s company.

 

He huffed, tongue moving in a silent  _ idiot _ to himself. He knew Damian wasn’t angry with him- knew because Damian was  _ kind _ , and to be angry over this- it wasn’t the sort of thing Vanni could have in a person and love them, the way he loved Damian. But he still had a sinking feeling in his belly over it, over the set-back.

 

“Someone wants to say hi to you, Vanni,” Damian said, walking back into the room. He was holding Vanni’s laptop, flipped open, and when he dropped down onto the couch, next to him, Vanni saw Skype open, and Colin’s smiling face on his screen.

 

Vanni felt a moment of pure weightlessness as he  _ grinned _ at the oldest of the group. “Colin!” he exclaimed, and got a  _ bigger _ smile from the redhead.

 

“Hey there princess. Prince charming said he crashed your castle and got snowed in. He drive you to murder yet?” Damian rolled his eyes, settling the laptop on the arm of the couch, as Vanni leaned into his lap to keep eye contact with Colin.

 

“No, but he did keep me warm,” Vanni mused. Colin mocked pain, over that.

 

“I’m hurt that I wasn’t invited.”

 

Damian rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, as Vanni said, “You’re always welcome. You know that.” And it was true- the penthouse had been open to Damian and Colin whenever they wanted for years, now. Sure, Vanni’s dads feigned annoyance at times when Damian suddenly just  _ appeared _ , but Vanni knew it was fake.

 

And Colin was good about not showing up unannounced at two AM.

 

“Honestly, it’d be tempting. But I have to work tonight so-”

 

Damian frowned. “Colin I cannot see a road outside, I am sure it is the same in Gotham. You cannot.”

 

Colin laughed, waving Damian off. “Chill Dames, I’ll be fine. And, you know, I don’t get the same luxuries as you- no snow days for me.” Damian frowned, and Vanni knew he was  _ worried _ about Colin. It was nasty outside, and he didn’t like the idea of Colin going out, either.

 

“I will have a car sent for you,” Damian decided, and Colin groaned, flopping back and covering his face.

 

“ _ Damian _ it’s bad enough everyone is convinced I only ever got this job because of  _ you _ . That’ll make it worse.” Damian clicked his tongue, and Vanni leaned into his chest. Colin had been working security at Wayne Enterprises for over a year now- and Vanni assumed he had the overnight shift, if he was leaving later. He knew Colin  _ did _ partially get the job because Damian had  _ wanted _ it for him- wanted Colin close as often as possible.

 

Vanni was fairly sure, if Damian had it his way, Colin would follow him like a shadow. Even if he didn’t admit it, it was easy to read from the simple way he would say Colin’s name.

 

“You are a stubborn ass,” Damian said, and Vanni smirked, cut in before Colin could,

 

“You’re one to talk.” Damian stared down at him, and Colin started  _ laughing _ . So hard he leaned over, and all Vanni could see was his mop of ginger hair.

 

“You know,” Damian said, “You two are just  _ perfect _ together. You obviously both abhor me.” It was mocking, and Vanni heard Colin snort, gasping for breath as he tried to relax.

 

“We’re  _ all _ perfect together,” Vanni corrected, reaching up to tap Damian’s nose, as Colin lifted his head.

 

“You know,” Colin said, “he’s right. We’re pretty damn wonderful, the way we are. The three musketeers!”

 

Vanni smiled, as Damian slipped an arm around him, pulled him in close. He leaned against his chest, offering up no response other than his smile, as Damian began a lecture for Colin on safe travel in hazardous weather- which had the redhead sighing, slumping down and resting his cheek in his palm as he humored Damian and let him talk.

 

They were perfect together, Vanni thought. They had been, for years. They’d forged memories, replaced nightmares with fantasy- they were something Vanni didn’t have a real name for, though he had  _ considered _ some. But he couldn’t bring himself to be the first to ask if this was something  _ more _ than the friendship everyone claimed they had. The attraction was there- he  _ knew _ , and had known for years, about Colin and Damian’s intimacy. Even when Colin was running off with boys at St. Aden’s, he always came back to Damian-

 

Came back to  _ Vanni _ . And that has all stopped, a year ago, easily. Around the same time Vanni had started to contemplate if maybe he wanted what they had, wanted that physical intimacy. He’d wondered, at first, if he wanted it simply because he  _ knew _ it was something that Damian and Colin had, that he didn’t share with them.

 

But it wasn’t that. They cared about him,  _ loved him _ , just the same. He didn’t doubt that- they’d made it clear, over the years. Made it clear now, as their simple presence had him able to push the earlier panic attack away from his mind.

 

He snuggled into Damian’s chest more, wished Colin was actually there. Wished Colin was playing with his hair, leaving those warm kisses on his neck that had him shivering. He’d thought about  _ those _ a lot when he was alone, too.

 

“And make sure you wear ample layers,” Damian said, suddenly breaking Vanni’s train of thought. “Or you will catch something.”

 

“You got it  _ mom _ ,” Colin said with a roll of his eyes. Damian scowled, cheeks tinging a little, and Vanni giggled.

 

“Vanni, do me a favor,” Colin said, looking at him with those green eyes that made Vanni think of summer. Think of fresh grass and all the flowers Colin had given him, over the years, that he’d pressed and kept. Each a treasure. “Kiss that scowl off his face, because I can’t.”

 

Vanni grinned, straightening up and catching Damian’s chin with one hand. He kissed his mouth, pressed hard until Damian was melting between him and the couch, and he heard Colin’s little exhale- before it turned into a chuckle.

 

He could admit that Colin watching, Colin telling him to kiss Damian,  _ it did something to him _ . This wasn’t the first time, but the pleasant twisting in his belly was back, and he had to pull back before he fell back into the want, the desire. Because he knew today wasn’t the day.

 

But there were other days.

 

“Better,” Vanni said, looking Damian’s slightly pink lips. The scowl had disappeared, and his eyelids had gone heavy- had that mystical look to him, like he was rising from the ashes of something, half in his mind and half lost to the world.

 

He was beautiful, and Vanni couldn’t breathe.

 

And he knew, without looking, that Colin couldn’t either.

 

“I miss you guys,” Colin finally said, as Vanni eased back a little. Both he and Damian turned towards the computer, and Vanni offered a small smile.

 

“We miss you too,” he whispered, as Damian nodded in agreement. They were always missing, when one of them was away. Didn’t matter how long it had been since they were all together- it was like someone had reached into their chests, had plucked out a rib and told them to forget about the way it hurt.

 

But it never lasted. Despite conflicting schedules, despite  _ life _ , there was always a way. And it was perfect, in Vanni’s eyes, when they were together.

 

And it made him think that, despite today’s  _ hitch _ , it would still be perfect. Because Damian was so patient with him, was so  _ comforting _ \- and Colin… it was if he’d climb up into the sky, for Vanni, to catch a falling star for him, if he asked. Like he’d give  _ anything _ -

 

And it was that, that rush of affection in him for these two, that made him want something  _ more _ . That made him want intimacy for his body and his  _ mind _ , made him want to give them each a half of his soul, be absorbed into them.

 

It was the love he had for them, that made him want to take his body back from the demons that still threatened nightmares, on the worst of nights. But Vanni knew, if he was ever going to find comfort in someone’s bed- it was going to take  _ time _ .

 

Lots of time.

 

*

 

“Can I get one large vanilla latte, one large coffee- black, definitely. And a large hot chocolate-  _ oh _ , can you put whipped cream on that?” Colin was leaning against the counter as he spoke, with that lazy smile of his- the kind that had the girl behind the register blushing a little, Vanni noted.

 

Consciously, he leaned over, hooked his arms around Colin’s and snuggled in a little closer. He didn’t blame her for obviously liking Colin’s smile- it was one of his best damn features, the way it curled his lips with  _ no _ effort, cast a little light to his eyes. Pulled at his cheeks so his freckles stood out more- it could make a heart do a summersault right out of your chest, no matter how innocently he meant it.

 

“Coming right up,” the girl said, passing him back his change. Colin shifted, got his wallet back in his pocket, and nudged Vanni, so they could head towards the other end of the counter, as the customer behind them stepped up.

 

“You’re being clingy,” Colin said, as they paused, and Vanni leaned his cheek against his arm.

 

“Complaining?”

 

“ _ Hardly _ . Wish you could be attached to my hip twenty-four seven, princess.” Colin leaned down, kissed the top of Vanni’s head. Vanni squeezed his arm, as a drink carrier was set on the counter for them, with their three cups. Colin untangled from Vanni to grab it, while Vanni headed for the door, tugging at his hat. Colin had knitted it for him- it was this slouchy purple  _ thing _ that Vanni wanted to tug down over his face, because it was so soft.

 

It didn’t help that it smelled like Colin still.

 

He stepped out into the brisk wind, grimacing and holding the door for Colin. “Thanks princess,” Colin said, shivering and holding the drinks closer to his body. “Good thing we just have to walk up the street, this weather is  _ brutal _ .”

 

Vanni nodded, agreeing, as he hunched into himself slightly, shoved his gloved hands into his pockets and walked in time with Colin’s steps. His legs were freezing, despite the fact that his leggings had fleece lining. His sweater dress left too much uncovered, and he was almost regretting it, as his boots crunched over the snow that seemed to constantly be covering the sidewalks, no matter how many people walked over it.

 

They were just reaching the building when Vanni heard a camera’s shutter- and noticed Colin’s shoulders tensing. He’d heard it too. A minute later, and there was a loud, “Vanni!” He sighed, pausing to turn, finding a guy- his age? No,  _ older _ he decided- his camera up.

 

Vanni smiled, offered a little wave- he didn’t really care for the paparazzi, but they were doing their  _ job _ , and it was cold. If he could give the guy a nice picture and they could both move on, he’d do it.

 

“What are you doing in Gotham?” the guy asked, and Vanni stuffed his hand back into his pocket.

 

“Visiting,” was all he offered, as Colin, next to him, seemed anxious to get inside.

 

“Visiting Damian Wayne?” There was something about his tone Vanni didn’t exactly like- like he was  _ insinuating _ something, but with an almost sneer. He knew there was a lot of talk about he and Damian- especially now that they were older. He knew there was talk about Damian and Colin too- but for the most part, Colin slipped under the radar. He was just some Gotham street kid, and most of the time no one recognized him if he wasn’t with Damian.

 

Seemed this guy didn’t, at least.

 

“Of course,” Vanni said, not wanting to elaborate. The rumors made him feel  _ strange _ . Mostly, it was the articles that talked about how they were  _ family _ and it was  _ weird _ to see them so  _ touchy feely _ with each other. Like it wasn’t okay, because he was- to the media, Dick’s cousin, now  _ kid _ , and Dick had been raised by Bruce.

 

“You two gonna come out to us yet?”

 

“Come out as  _ what _ ?” Vanni asked, before he felt one of Colin’s hands curling around his arm.

 

“C’mon Vanni, let’s go inside.”

 

“Vanni, are you sleeping with him?”

 

Vanni gritted his teeth. For a moment, thought back to Damian’s hand on his thigh, on the couch of the penthouse. Thought of how good it felt to grind against Damian’s palm, before his mind had gone off into corners he wished it never  _ would _ .

 

He didn’t feel  _ comfortable _ discussing that with a stranger.

 

“None of your business,” Vanni said, rather  _ curt _ about it, as Colin gave his arm another tug. “I’m not comfortable with these questions.”

 

Vanni had seen a few people, in the past, actually  _ stop _ when he’d said that. He hoped this guy would too- but the guy only huffed. “C’mon, like I believe the Wayne kid isn’t about to bend you over his desk.”

 

Vanni growled, low in his throat, flexed his fingers in his pocket and fought the urge to make a fist. “Kiss my ass,” he shouted, turning to face the building again, more than ready to leave in a huff and get back to the  _ good _ his day had promised to be, despite the bitter cold.

 

But the guy only grinned, this perverted sort of smile, and yelled out, “I would every night if you let me.”

 

Vanni tensed, before he turned on his heel. He heard Colin calling his name, but ignored him, storming over through the snow to get right in the man’s face. He shoved his camera aside, glaring at him.

 

“Listen here,” he said, reaching out and jabbing one gloved finger against his chest, “you  _ ever _ make a statement like that towards me again, and I’ll break every bone in your hand. Understand? I’m not an  _ animal _ , and I have no interest in anything you have to offer- and if you try so much as to state your  _ dick size _ , I’ll personally make sure you can’t use it for a damn  _ year _ .”

 

He turned at that, storming off and grabbing Colin by the arm, tugging him quickly into the building. He was storming halfway towards the elevator when he heard someone saying Colin’s name- and the man in question was stopping, forcing Vanni to stop as well.

 

“Are you working today?” It was the woman at the welcome desk, smiling with her perfectly painted red lips. Vanni eased back, letting go of Colin’s arm, as the redhead shook his head.

 

“Nah, just bringing in a little surprise.” He lifted his cup holder up, and she nodded.

 

“Mr. Wayne… uhm, I assume you mean for the  _ younger _ , I think is in his office? Mr. Wayne left a little while ago, but I haven’t seen him leave yet.”

 

“Thanks hun.” Colin turned, and the woman followed, flashing a smile at Vanni and waving. He waved back, before he turned as well, more than happy to get into the elevator. He hit the button for Damian’s floor, and the doors closed- leaving he and Colin alone.

 

Vanni sighed, slumping back against the railing, as Colin asked, “you okay?” He nodded. “You know, I was about five seconds from kicking his ass- but you seemed to have it covered.”

 

Vanni waved his hand. Truth be told,  _ he did _ . He’d been dealing with this for years now, and it seemed now that he’d crossed that  _ magical _ age of eighteen, the commentary was only getting more… uncomfortable.

 

It made him a little sick, made him wonder if there had been some weird countdown until they could harass him like this and not be in trouble for talking that way to a  _ minor _ .

 

“Sometimes I forget about that mouth you’ve got,” Colin added, and that made Vanni smile.

 

“I do live with Jason,” he pointed out, and Colin snorted- shaking his head in slight dismay, as the elevator doors opened. They walked out, nodding to the secretary- who didn’t stop them- heading for Damian’s office. Vanni knocked, before grabbing the handle and opening it for Colin, before Damian could say anything.

 

“Surprise!” Colin said, the moment the door was open and he had a single foot in the office. Damian, at his desk, looked up, eyes a little wide- and Vanni noticed the ghost of a smile, crossing his face, as he stepped in and closed the door, Colin heading right over.

 

“What are you doing here?” Damian asked, pushing his laptop away. His suit jacket was tossed over the back of his chair, the sleeves to his button down rolled up. He even had his tie loosened. It made Vanni think the morning hadn’t gone as well as his friend might have hoped.

 

“Thought you might want a pick me up,” Colin offered, setting the drink carrier on his desk and plucking one of the cups from it. He held it out, leaning over and snagging a quick kiss as Damian took it- Damian turning up into it, leaning  _ in  _ when Colin tried to pull away, prolonging it another moment.

 

Vanni watched, working the buttons of his coat open, a few steps back. Years after the first time he had seen these two first kiss, and he  _ still _ could sit and watch, mesmerized. He was shrugging his coat off when Colin finally straightened up, and Damian smiled at him. He lifted his cup to his lips- before he paused, as Vanni tugged at his leather gloves, pulling them off carefully.

 

Damian lowered the cup, and Vanni  _ grinned _ over that, dropping his coat and gloves in the free chair in front of Damian’s desk, and hurrying around, the opposite as Colin, to lean over and kiss Damian as well. He smiled over the way Damian reached up with his free hand, curled it behind his neck and held him still for those sweet few moments, before letting him straighten up.

 

“And look at that, he didn’t even taste like coffee,” Colin commented, all too aware of Vanni’s dislike for the drink the rest of them seemed to run on. He’d shrugged his own coat off, stuffed his gloves into the pocket. He tossed it onto the chair, as he picked up his own cup, taking a large sip.

 

“Thank you,” Damian offered, finally taking a drink. “This is sorely needed. The morning was rough.”

 

“You look like it was,” Colin commented, leaning his hip on the desk. He picked up Vanni’s hot chocolate and passed it to him, as Vanni sat on the opposite corner, taking a sip. He smiled over the cup, wrapping both hands around it- the cafe at the corner always made the best drinks. Their tea was  _ breathtaking _ , but Vanni had  _ definitely _ wanted something that would feel like it might stick to his throat and ribs.

 

What he really wanted was about seven blankets, and to be buried under them with both the men in this room.

 

“If you’re worn out, we can always do dinner another night,” Colin pointed out. Damian shook his head.

 

“I want to see you both,” he pointed out. They’d made plans to go to dinner, when Damian was done with his day- but Vanni  _ knew _ from Damian’s eyes that the idea of being out in public was  _ not _ exactly what he wanted.

 

“Roommate is out for half the damn week,” Colin pointed out. “She’s got a new boyfriend and they sipped town for a few days.  _ Went skiing _ . So just come to my place? We’ll get take out. That way we don’t have to actually be  _ seen _ , but it won’t feel quite as cramped.”

 

Damian pursed his lips, thinking on it- before he glanced at Vanni. The silent  _ are you okay with that? _ Vanni nodded, smiling. He didn’t care if they went out or not, he just wanted to be with both of them.

 

“Alright,” Damian agreed, taking another sip of his coffee. “If you are both sure you do not mind.”

 

“Not at all,” Colin said, “the whole  _ point _ was for us all to be together, Dames. That’s what matters.”

 

Behind his cup, Vanni’s smile widened.

 

*

 

“Colin  _ to the left _ !” Vanni yelled, as Colin tilted his whole damn body, moving his controller as he did so. On his television screen, his character turned, sword smashing down into his target.

 

“I know!” Colin said back, glancing around Vanni- who was settled on his lap. Colin had his arms around him, the large control pad to his Wii-U in his hand, settled near Vanni’s belly. “You know, you could be playing  _ with _ me and not backseat playing.”

 

“Mmm, but I’m comfy,” Vanni countered, leaning back against him. Colin sighed, rested his chin on Vanni’s shoulder. “Besides, how many times have we played this game?”

 

“Hyrule Warriors  _ never _ gets old.” He grinned, turning to kiss the side of Vanni’s neck very quickly. “You love this game anyway.” Vanni chuckled. It was  _ true _ . The characters were colorful, and while the main event was still  _ violence _ , it was a far cry of difference from the other games Colin and Damian played.

 

Games that Vanni had sadly learned the hard way made him uncomfortable.

 

“You always play the same character,” Vanni pointed out, changing the subject. Colin shrugged.

 

“ _ Listen _ , Volga’s  _ hot _ . Like, of course I wanna be a giant hot dragon knight.  _ Duh _ .” Colin paused, then added, “I’d climb him like a damn tree.” Vanni laughed so hard he reached up, covered his mouth. “I mean, who wouldn’t?” He was still laughing when Colin added, “Well, maybe not you princess.”

 

“If it was  _ you _ in his armor, I would.”

 

Colin stopped, his character freezing on the screen. Vanni felt him shifting a little, lifting his head- and then he was setting his controller aside.

 

He patted the spot on the couch next to him. “Can we talk for a second?” Vanni swallowed, nodded- slid of Colin’s lap onto the couch next to him, facing him. Colin turned a little, leaning one shoulder into the back of the slightly worn couch. “Damian… Damian told me a couple things. And I hope it’s okay that he did- but he thought I should know.” Colin licked his lips. “He said you wanted him to touch you.”

 

Vanni felt a little heat, rising up in his cheeks- and he nodded. He wasn’t mad at Damian, for confiding in Colin. If anything, he’d  _ expected _ it.

 

It had always been the three of them.

 

And there weren’t  _ secrets _ .

 

“I… I thought…” Colin sighed. “I know you’re into us. But you… you were never into sex. Which is cool. Like, we don’t care. And I was just… curious.” He reached up, rubbed the back of his neck. “If you’re okay with me asking.”

 

Vanni nodded. He was  _ always _ okay with Colin asking. Because Colin  _ did _ . Where Damian watched, tried to piece things together silently- Colin was up front. And there was something nice about getting to explain himself, even if it was at times hard.

 

“I care about you,” Vanni said, “you know that. And Damian. And I…” he shrugged a shoulder, and signed,  _ I’ve been thinking about things _ .

 

_ What kind of things?  _

 

_ What you feel like _ . He watched Colin’s eyes go a little wide, and Vanni bit at his lip- was he didn’t have to say the words. It was easier, like this.

 

It meant the world to him, that Colin and Damian had  _ learned _ sign language, just for him.

 

_ You make me feel safe. I like that. I think that’s what makes me… feel this way. That I love you. _ He watched Colin smile, that kind that had his belly diluting into an utter mess, made his heart speed up. Didn’t matter how many times he said it, signed it-

 

Telling Colin he loved him made him feel like a  _ child _ . Like the child he had never been. And he’d been saying it for so long now, he told  _ everyone _ he cared about that he loved them-

 

But this, it was  _ different _ . And no matter how much they all danced around the subject, he knew Colin  _ knew _ it was, too.

 

Colin reached out, brushed a few stray strands of hair from Vanni’s face. His fingers still felt different from Damian’s, after all these years. Lacked the callouses, were  _ softer _ \- not as warm, though. “That makes sense,” Colin said, smiling still. “You know, there’s a word for that.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“ _ Demisexual _ . It means you feel a sexual attraction to someone after you have an emotional connection. It’s still on the asexual spectrum.” Colin curled his arm around Vanni then, pulling him closer. “You’re always gonna be the ace up my sleeve.”

 

Vanni laughed, tipped his head back and reached out, got both his arms around Colin’s neck. Colin tugged him in, and when he lifted his head, he kissed him- quickly, affectionately.

 

“Damian was really worried about you,” Colin added, “We’re here for you, princess. Always will be. But just… take it slow, okay? You’ve… god, you’ve survived  _ so much _ . Just take it one step at a time. And talk to us.” Vanni nodded, and Colin kissed the tip of his nose, then the bridge, before reaching his forehead. “We’re going to love you, no matter what.”

 

Vanni nodded. That was something he didn’t doubt.

 

*

 

By the time Damian was opening Colin’s apartment door- with his key, that Vanni knew Colin had given him- he had given in, was standing up and swinging one of the controls as Colin yelled at the screen.

 

“Is someone  _ dying _ ?” Damian asked, closing the door with his foot and walking into the small living room. He was holding a few bags, his hair windswept. His cheeks and nose even had a ruddy color to them, from the chill outside.

 

“Only my pride,” Colin admitted, “Vanni’s  _ way _ ahead of me, enemy wise. God _ damn _ why did I want you to play?” Vanni only grinned, as Colin paused the game, tossing the control pad and standing up. “And what’s all this? I thought we’d order when you got here.”

 

“I picked up sushi.” Vanni turned on his heel, chucking the remote at that, and Damian  _ grinned _ . “I knew it’d go over well.” He turned, heading for the kitchen, Colin and Vanni following quickly.

 

They ate settled on the couch, left the tiny kitchen table a mess of bags and open containers. The apartment wasn’t huge- but when Colin’s roommate was away, it felt  _ cozy _ with the three of them. Vanni rather liked the girl he lived with- she was a good five years older, studied at Gotham University and was constantly coming and going. Usually, when it was the three of them, they tried to make a point to be at the Manor, with more room-

 

But this, it felt  _ good _ .

 

Vanni leaned his head on Damian’s shoulder, glancing across him and watching Colin nuzzle into him, place a single, lingering kiss to his neck. Damian’s eyes looked tired. He’d been all too quick to nearly rip his tie off, toss his jacket away- and Vanni assumed the afternoon hadn’t gone any better than the morning.

 

Not that any of Damian’s days were ever  _ stellar _ . He knew Damian didn’t  _ like _ a lot of aspects of his dad’s company- namely, working  _ with _ most of the people there. That was Tim’s expertise, but Damian still seemed dragged along.

 

“You need a pick me up,” Colin said, shifting and getting an arm around Damian’s chest, hand sliding between Damian and Vanni’s bodies. A kiss to his jaw now, and Damian tipped his head back, closing his eyes.

 

Vanni  _ knew _ what Colin meant. Knew that Colin had a way of taking Damian’s body and draining the exhaustion from his veins. Knew that Colin gave Damian the sorts of highs that made him  _ forget _ about the bad days.

 

“Go,” Vanni said, lifting up and gently shoving Damian towards Colin. Damian opened his eyes, glanced down at him.

 

“Are you  _ sure _ ?” Vanni rolled his eyes, nodding. He appreciated that Damian and Colin seemed so  _ concerned _ about him, when he knew they wanted to crawl into bed with each other- that when he was around, they acted as if that simply wasn’t a  _ part _ of all this-

 

But he had never cared. It didn’t change how he felt about either of them, and he knew they weren't intentionally cutting him out of anything- they were respecting his own interests, and  _ lack of _ …

 

Until recently.

 

“Duh,” Vanni said, flopping back onto the arm of the couch. “I never care, you know that.” And then, signing,  _ I’ll be here stealing the rest of the food _ . Colin laughed at that, standing up and tugging Damian up. Vanni heard him say  _ c’mon Dames, lemme make you feel better _ , before he was leading him out of the small living room, towards Colin’s bedroom.

 

Vanni heard the door shut, and directly after a  _ thud _ as someone was pushed against it. If he closed his eyes, he could picture Damian pressed up against it, Colin at his mouth-

 

He took a very slow breath, before he got up, heading for the kitchen. He busied himself clearing up the mess on the table, trying not to  _ think _ about it.

 

Because a part of him wanted to pound on Colin’s door, and beg them to let him  _ in _ . A part of him wanted to  _ see _ , wanted to know if every picture he had thought up in his head was  _ right _ .

 

But he knew,  _ knew _ , that wasn’t the right decision. Knew how easy it was to get overwhelmed, and that rushing in…

 

He didn’t want a repeat of his panic attack. Didn’t want Damian and Colin to worry. Didn’t want those memories to come back, all over again. Not when he’d worked so hard, felt like he had come to far.

 

He sighed, pulling out one of the chairs and slumping down, rubbing his hands over his face. It was hard to not charge in, to not want to experience all of these new  _ feelings _ he was still getting used to. Everything he’d learned, over the years- every experience, everything  _ new _ , he’d wanted to charge right into. Wanted to know this world around him, how to be a part of it-

 

It was so much  _ simpler _ before he’d felt this.

 

Vanni shook his head, didn’t understand how Colin and Damian could handle just  _ being _ attracted to people. It was  _ exhausting _ .

 

He shoved the thoughts aside, didn’t want to dwell on them now. Wanted to enjoy the time with his…  _ friends _ . He could sort through these when he was alone.

 

Vanni stood back up, shoving some of the empty packages into the trash, just as he heard Colin’s door opening. He hadn’t  _ expected _ them to be in there long. Knew the point was just to get Damian off and take the tension out of his body-

 

He jumped, slightly, when he felt arms around him, and then Damian, nuzzling into his neck. Feeling much  _ softer _ than he had. Smiling, from the feeling of his mouth.

 

“Better?” Vanni asked, reaching up and squeezing the arm around his shoulders with his hands. Damian hummed, nodded, kissing the side of his neck. Vanni almost laughed- could admit he always  _ loved _ the way Damian was, when Colin was done with him. He acted like he did when he was waking up, in the morning. All warm and fluid beneath his skin, fitting against every curve of Vanni’s body-

 

“You did  _ not _ start cleaning up,” Colin said, walking into the kitchen a moment later. He was attempting to straighten his hair- and Vanni got a flash of Damian’s hands in it, holding tight-

 

He swallowed thickly.

 

“I’ve got this,” Colin continued, waving them off. Vanni didn’t argue, but was disappointed when Damian unwrapped himself. However, he took Vanni’s hand the moment he did, leading him back out to the living room, dropped down onto the couch and pulled him down. Vanni  _ squealed _ , tumbled into Damian’s lap- and lost his breath, the moment Damian kissed him.

 

It was slow and soft, with Damian’s hand curled at the back of his neck. Vanni grasped onto his shoulders, didn’t chase Damian when he pulled back- but felt his pulse  _ buzzing _ over the smile Damian offered.

 

“Okay?” he asked, the full question not needed-  _ are you okay that we left you for that? _

 

Vanni nodded, kept his smile.

 

He was just fine. He knew they loved. That was beyond question.

 

*

 

Vanni woke up with his face pressed into one of Colin’s pillows. There was a heavy- but not unpleasant- weight on him, and he realized it was  _ Damian _ , sprawled out over the bed. As usual. He shifted, lifting his head slightly and looking out through the veil of his hair- found Damian was turned slightly away from him, partially pushed into Colin despite being sprawled on his belly. Colin was up tight to the wall, on his side, clinging to Damian.

 

He smiled to himself, dropping his cheek back onto the pillow. He didn’t know what time it was- if Colin’s alarm was going to go off any second- but he didn’t really care. He’d take a few stolen seconds while the other two were sleeping, to simply enjoy their presences.

 

Damian shifted, in his sleep- rolled around until Colin was grunting, and Damian was facing Vanni now, Colin wrapping up around him. Vanni bit back a laugh, sliding right up against Damian’s bare chest, nestling into the heat there. Even in his sleep, Damian curled an arm around him- and Vanni could feel Colin’s hand, from where it rested on Damian’s waist- the brush of his knuckles.

 

He wanted to wake up like this, every day. Wanted to know they were both within arms reach. The only place he’d ever felt as safe was when he would curl up with his dads- and this,  _ this _ , it was different. It was a different sort of love-

 

It was like what he saw, when Jason and Dick looked at each other. When Tim and Kon exchanged smiles. And he knew, he had  _ known _ for a long time how much he loved these two… but laying there in silence, Vanni wondered if it was possible, for the three of them-

 

He didn’t  _ see _ it. He saw pairings, two-by-two, and wondered if there could be room for a third person. 

 

Damian made a little noise, and Vanni smiled to himself, let the thoughts settle, snuggling up closer. His hand reached out, and under the blanket he found one of Colin’s, took it in his own and squeezed his fingers affectionately.

 

For a minute, he’d let himself believe it was  _ definitely _ possible.

 

*

 

“Swear you can dance to  _ anything _ ,” Dick said, lifting himself up on the bar he hung from. Vanni glanced up at his father, landing his leap as the heavy beat of the music seemed to almost shake the floor.

 

“You should see the video he showed me the other day,” Jason said, across the room, setting down a weight and rolling his neck. “This gay was doing some pretty sick ballet to  _ Take Me to Church _ .”

 

“No shit.”

 

Vanni smiled, pausing to reach up, pull his hair free and reknot it, into a messy bun. He’d been home a few hours before his dads had decided they needed a good workout before patrol came around, and he always rather liked spending that time with them. Especially when it was the  _ both _ of them.

 

But besides that, “can I ask you guys something?”

 

Jason paused, about to pick up another weight, and straightened up. “Of course,” he said, as Dick dropped down off the pull up bar, rolling his shoulders and walking over towards the bench, snatching up his water bottle. Vanni walked over, dropping down on the bench as Dick sat next to him, Jason moving to take up the spot on his other side.

 

“Do people,” he started, before he paused, and chose to sign,  _ do multiple people date _ ?

 

“Like how?” Dick asked, passing his water bottle over to Jason. “You mean, like how I dated Babs when I was younger, before I ended up with your dad?”

 

Vanni shook his head. “At the same time.” Dick quirked up a brow, but next to Vanni, Jason gave a rather knowing grin.

 

“Sure do,” he said, closing the bottle and leaning his arms on his thighs. “No one says that a romantic relationship has to be between just  _ two _ people. Called polyamory, kiddo.”

 

Vanni nodded, knitting his hands together. “It’s not weird?”

 

“It’s not what current society would dub  _ conventional _ ,” Dick admitted, “but it’s not weird. You just have to do it right.”

 

“How?”

 

“Communication,” Jason threw in, “just like  _ any _ relationship. Communication and honesty and trust.”

 

Vanni nodded, before he gave a little smile. “Communication like when you two scream at each other?”

 

“ _ Brat _ ,” Dick said, reaching up and tousling Vanni’s hair, messing up the bun he had  _ just _ fixed. “Where’s this coming from?”

 

Vanni licked his lips, shrugged a shoulder. “I was just… thinking,” he admitted, glancing down at his hands. Remembering the kisses Damian had left on his fingertips earlier- how Colin had pulled him in by both his hands and kissed him  _ so sweetly _ before climbing into Damian’s car. “About what I want.”

 

A knowingly glance passed between Dick and Jason.

 

“Let me take a crack at this,” Jason said, reaching an arm up and putting it around his kid’s shoulders. “You’re finally thinking about you and Colin and Damian, and making the whole  _ three musketeers _ thing a little more steady?”

 

Vanni glanced up, blushing, and next to him, Dick laughed. He reached out, took his son’s hand, gave it a squeeze.

 

“Kiddo, you’re not really subtle with them.”

 

“We’ve been waiting for this talk for like, what, the past two years?”

 

“ _ Really _ ?”

 

They both nodded.

 

“They’ve always meant the world to you, we know,” Jason offered, “and you look at the both of them like you found the meaning of life in their eyes. We were just waiting for  _ you _ to be ready to come to us and ask.”

 

Vanni glanced from Jason to Dick, who nodded. “Really. And you know we both adore them both. Damian’s  _ family _ , and Colin has become family too. We know they both love you.”

 

Vanni pursed his lips, nodded- and Dick gave his hand another squeeze.

 

“Have you talked to them?”

 

“No,” Vanni admitted. “I wanted to… make sure the idea wasn’t crazy.”

 

“Nothing’s crazy,” Jason offered, leaning in and kissing his temple. “As long as it makes you happy.” He gave Vanni a firm squeeze. “And we both know, Colin and Damian- they make you happy.”

 

Vanni nodded, glancing back down at his hands- at the one Dick held firmly in his own- before he smiled, squeezing it back. “Thanks,” he whispered- feeling like, down in his gut- his dads were right.

 

Nothing was crazy in this life- nothing at all, as long as it made him happy.

 

*

 

Vanni pulled his scarf up over his nose as he made his way towards the manor door. He didn’t need to look back to know that Dick wouldn’t leave until he was inside. He didn’t bother knocking, simply let himself in- heard the engine as the car pulled through the snow falling heavily onto the drive. He hoped his dad would remember to text him, once he was safely back home.

 

Vanni tapped his boots to shake the snow off, before he headed right for the stairs, his gloved hand keeping his bag secure over his shoulder. Up the stairs and turning down the hallway, and he could see the light shining from beneath Damian’s doorway. Could hear the sounds of his violin, as he played. He smiled behind his scarf, heading for the door and pressing his ear against it. Despite his hat and loose hair, he could still hear it clearly, and his smile grew.

 

He turned the handle, pushing the door open and letting himself in. From Damian’s bed, Colin looked up, smiled, as Damian opened his eyes from where he stood, glancing at him and offering his own smile, as he paused, lowering his violin. “Hello beloved,” he offered, as Vanni tugged at his scarf, dropping his bag and then it atop it. His hat went next, as Colin shuffled back on the bed, until he was nestled back into the pillows, watching.

 

Once Vanniy had stripped of his snow-sprinkled outerwear, and kicked his boots off, he crawled onto the bed- happily settling into Colin’s side and smiling at Damian. “Don’t stop,” he said, as Colin leaned in and kissed his temple. Damian’s smile was soft, as he lifted his violin, began playing again.

 

Vanni smiled, relaxed into Colin until he felt boneless. Colin was warm and smelled good, like a sort of blanket he wanted to wrap up in, every night. The kind you found draped over the back of a couch, well loved and worn and still so  _ satisfying _ .

 

He wanted to have that, forever. And the sweet churning in his belly, over the music Damian created- the excitement he  _ still _ felt, when Damian called him  _ beloved _ .

 

Vanni’s thoughts cut out, when Damian paused again- this time setting his violin down. He walked towards the bed, around it, leaning over and catching Vanni’s chin. “Don’t make me play,” he offered, “when I could be kissing you.”

 

Vanni smiled so hard his cheeks hurt- could barely kiss back when Damian closed the gap, but it didn’t seem to matter. It was soft and brief- but enough to make Vanni’s heart skip a beat- for Colin’s arm to tighten around him. When Damian pulled back, crawled up onto the bed to sit and face the two, Vanni knew that it could be  _ then _ -

 

The conversation he’d been silently practicing for  _ days _ . Speaking softly to himself in his bed, snuggled in with his stuffed animals, like he could create a warm, soft wall against the outside world, while he braced himself. Braced to bare himself to the two men who could  _ break _ him, if they wanted.

 

Because he’d let them  _ in _ . Trusted them in ways he had sworn he’d  _ never _ trust someone else- had never  _ wanted _ to, before them. But now-

 

“Can we talk?” he asked, his hands twisting in his lap, before he signed,  _ please _ ? Damian and Colin glanced at each other, before nodding. Colin lifted his arm from Vanni, turning so he could face him a bit.

 

“What’s on your mind?” he asked, leaning forward a bit, as Vanni twisted his fingers together. He’d worked  _ hard _ to practice making the actual  _ words _ come out- even if he knew these two would understand, if he signed. Because they had  _ learned _ , for him.

 

“Us,” he managed, swallowing. He felt his heartbeat picking up, and couldn’t make the eloquent speech he’d tried to form come  _ out _ . All he could do was dive  _ in _ , “Can there be an us?”

 

Colin inclined his head, slightly, glanced at Damian, who was studying Vanni, before- “You mean like… more than there already is?” Vanni nodded. “Like…” Colin waved his hand, like maybe  _ he _ had trouble with the words too-

 

And Vanni wondered if it was something they were  _ all _ thinking, but never speaking.

 

“I love you both,” Vanni admitted- and  _ that _ wasn’t something new. The word had been used before, between them. But love  _ changed _ . Grew, given time. “Differently, than I did.” He pursed his lips for a moment, “And I know that… that you two could be complete without me, but… I hope there’s room for me, in this.”

 

Damian and Colin exchanged glances- before Damian was moving, pulling Vanni into his arms. Vanni leaned, pressed tight to Damian’s chest, as the teen hugged him tightly.

 

“Vanni,” he offered, a hand splayed on the youngest’s back. “There is  _ always _ room for you. This… it is not complete, missing any of us.” He glanced at Colin, as if seeking reassurance-

 

And got it, with a big smile. “I think I’d die happy if I was callin’ you two my boyfriends,” Colin teased, before pausing, adding, “unless you wanna be called something else, Vanni?”

 

Vanni shrugged a shoulder, lifting his head- didn’t exactly  _ care _ . “That, partner, I don’t care.” He was too  _ happy _ to care-

 

Because they were saying yes,  _ right _ ?

 

Damian smiled, kissed Vanni’s forehead. “We’ve been together for too long,” he whispered, “to ever change this. To become less than three.”

 

Colin nodded, reaching out to stroke Vanni’s hair back, before leaning in, getting his arms around the both of them. For a moment the three were simply a warm, tight bundle- before Colin pushed, and they were sprawling out on Damian’s bed,  _ laughing _ . Vanni was on his belly, partially on top of Damian, who remained on his back- Colin with his arm slung over both of them.

 

“Even if…” Vanni licked his lips, “even if I’m never comfortable-”

 

“ _ Yes _ ,” they both said, before he could even finish.

 

“If you  _ never _ want to be intimate,” Damian offered, kissing one of Vanni’s cheeks, “we will not mind. We love you as you are- we want nothing more from you. We want you  _ happy _ .”

 

“There’s more to life,” Colin agreed, nosing at Vanni’s hair, “more to  _ love _ . If you’re ever ready, we’ll try. However you want. And if you never are- then we  _ won’t _ . But that doesn’t change that we care about you.”

 

Vanni smiled, before he leaned down, buried his face in Damian’s chest- his cheeks burning as he grinned. His face was aching from it, his heart racing- but he felt like he was flying,  _ soaring _ through the sky. Like he was sprouting wings, finding himself  _ free _ , all over again.

 

And as if this new life hadn’t gifted him so many things, over the years- it was gifting him, once more. Now with a type of love he never could have fathomed, years ago.

 

And he  _ believed _ them both, when they told him there was more to this. Trusted them, when Colin and Damian promised to love him as he was- and to never ask for him to change, to be what he wasn’t.

 

And Vanni knew, in that moment, that his life, and what he wanted- it truly wasn’t crazy. It was exactly as his fathers had said- perfect, so long as he was  _ happy _ .

 

And god, was he happy.

**Author's Note:**

> While I have my own ideas as to where these three go, I wanted to leave it open to you guys as the readers to come up with your own ideas.
> 
> A big thanks to everyone who loved this series, and especially to my tumblr folks who always kept the ideas flowing. And anyone who found some comfort in Vanni and his narrative- this is for you <3


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